Today I’m taking the medicine. I’ve been preparing for days. I am terrified. Maybe it will help me understand me. Maybe it will help me love me. I am scared of shitting my pants. I am afraid of having a panic attack.
Can I make it through it? What will I experience? Am I afraid of what I will discover? What I’ll discover about myself…
I don’t have any idea what will happen and at the same time I have all these things in my mind that I believe will happen.
I am confused but ready. I’ve been wanting to do this for over a year, close to two. The drive there will seem eternal. I appreciate the sky, the sun, the wind a bit more today. I look at my husband and wonder what goes on in his mind. Sometimes I feel I married a stranger. Other times that we talk and think the same things because were soulmates and eternally connected.
Aya what will you show me?
Diary of a Mom Learning Self Love 